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Issit stress?

Havn't been feeling well recently

I have normal food

Have normal life

but everytime i finish eating

I feel like vomiting

just feel like

I feel sick

I hate myself

Hate me for being so useless

Hate me for being so unsuccessful

Hate me for being so blur

Hate me for being so stupid

Hate me for being so fat

Hate me for being so ugly

Hate me for living the life i have now

When can i be successful?

When can i be more organised?

When can i be more independent?

Regarding Uni

The more i am in this course

The more i'm starting to hate Fashion Design

The more they took away my confident

In the class

I'm just a nobody

Who don't do well in Art n stuffs

Who never mixed around well with the others

But all i'm looking for

is just support and comfort

I need a boost and help

to gain my passion back for what i'm doing

cuz one can never do anithing good without passion

I wanna quit dis uni

cuz i find no support

i feel as if i don't belong here

this sux

i hate it

confidence is one thing that's slowy draining away from me

what will i become in the future?

I don't wanna let dadi n mumi down

but I'm really not happy

Sheding tears quietly

hiding all my emotions when i talk to them

for i don't wan them to be worried

but it came the time when i reli can't take it NEmore

every semester every year

promising dadi n mumi that i'll do my best and cope with everything

but its getting so hard

I'm struggling not living

I'm hating not loving

I'm slowly fading away into a mist of confusion and lost

One day

If i really just leave this place

Please forgive me

for my childishness

Please forgive me

for my lack of courage

Please forgive me

dadi and mumi

I admit

thoughts of killing myself

is occuring again

yes again

cuz dis is not the first time

for i find no place for me to fit in this world in this society

for i feel for a person as useless as me

if i'm dead

the world might be a better place

aint it?

I admit

I have the urge to pick up a ciggarate and start to puff away

it seems to take people's stress away

even for a minute

its so tempting

reli

so tempting

I admit

growing up is so hard

If i could

I hope i can end it all

even at this moment

for i wan quiet and peace

i wanna live a simple life

a simple and happy life

not all these

I admit

I HATE UNI