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Was it the him dat you missed

or issit just the feeling of dependent you missed?

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since the final break up

the feeling of lost

keeps rumbling inside me

the sudden lost of 精神支柱

growing up in a family

where affection is as much as none

had build up my craving for affection

days and years passed

the craving become more and more

even tho there's no body contact most of d time

but the sense of affection is wut i'd been holding on

so much

its like a thin string

as thin as the spider web

holding onto it so hard

so scared it might snap

and now

it did snap

i drop right back to the deep bottom

and in the darkness

i see nothing

i feel nothing

and i know

i'm lost

whoever had known me

knows

i run when people comes after me

i run when people express their interest on our first encounter

i don't want my love to be built on appearance and money

i don't wan my love to be built on fakeness

maybe it's just the lack of safety that i felt

causes my intimidation

i realised

i cried is not because of losing u

i cried is just merely because of losing the affection factor

i'm weak

i know

and i admit

I AM WEAK

I'm still searching

searching for a sign

which will guide me out of this darkness